How to mend a broken heart...


Heartbreak is caused by the end of a relationship. It can also be caused when we fail to get a relationship we fervently desire. It can even happen slowly when we realize that we are in a relationship from which all the love has gone. However it happens, after the shock, it takes some time for reality to sink in. Then we experience a welter of feelings. We can be angry, sad, devastated, despairing, distraught, desperate, remorseful, regretful, ashamed, embarrassed. The emotional bombardment is overwhelming.
In the long term, we have a natural way of dealing with these feelings. We have an emotional mechanism that allows us to recover from losses and from pain. If we didn't have it, the whole world would be in mourning forever! Bereavement, parting and suffering are unavoidable parts of our life experience.

L. Joan Allen, MA, co-author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right, suggests the following:
  • Do something for someone else. Volunteer in a soup kitchen, a hospital, a nursing home, or for any other organization that you support. "Giving your time to help someone else helps take your mind off your troubles and makes you feel really good at the end of the day," says Allen.
  • Pamper yourself with a massage, manicure, fresh flowers, or a weekend getaway to a place you've never explored. (This is not the time to trip down memory lane and stay in that charming B&B you and your ex-beloved once visited!)
  • Adopt a pet. "Pets give you an unlimited amount of attention and love," says Allen. If you live in an apartment and can't own a pet, then pet sit for friends or volunteer at a local SPCA.
  • Keep a journal and write down what you learned from the relationship, what your role in the breakup was (even if you're convinced you were blameless, chances are, you weren't -- at least not completely). Write down what you'll avoid in your next relationship. "This should give you a good idea of what your non-negotiables are," Allen says.
  • Spend time with friends and family who will nurture you and keep you from feeling lonely.
  • Learn something new. Take a class. Start a hobby.
  • Think of this time as a new chapter in your life, says Allen. "Explore your passions and make a plan to accomplish a goal ... start a business, go back to school, write a book." 
Well, I don't know....